Joshua Graham vs Lanius
The Legates face off! Which of the two commanders of Caesar's Legion would win in a battle without companies of soldiers to command? Introduction Will: In the post-apocalyptic world of Fallout, it is the late twenty-third century. Over 200 years have passed since the nuclear exchange of the Great War destroyed the world as we know it. But as time passed, humanity recovered, to the point where societies have begun to spring up across the former United States. Zeta: And few of these societies are as respected and feared as Caesar's Legion. Their troops, styled after the soldiers of ancient history, are famous for their history of conquest and violence. Will: In the space of a few decades, the missionary Edward Sallow was able to create an empire in the remains of Arizona, and his adopted name Caesar became synonymous with the militaristic dictatorship he created. Zeta: So it's no wonder that he only ever found two guys worthy of being his right hand man. Will: Joshua Graham, the Burned Man. Zeta: And Lanius, the Monster of the East. Will: We're Will and Zeta, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. Joshua Graham Will: Joshua Graham was with Caesar from the very beginning, a fellow missionary who helped him lead a single tribe to victory against seven of their neighbors. Over the next thirty years, Graham led Caesar's forces in a series of wars against dozens of tribes, creating an Empire across several states. But outside the lights of New Vegas, things went wrong for the conqueror. Zeta: Long story short, Graham led the Legion attack on the Hoover Dam, which was being occupied by the New California Republic, or NCR for short. Things went well at first, and he pushed NCR forces back into Boulder City. Then they fell into a giant explosive trap that leveled the city and most of the Legion forces along with them. All while being sniped at. Will: Naturally, Caesar was furious about the defeat, so he decided to make an example of Joshua Graham. He had Graham covered in pitch, set on fire, and tossed down the Grand Canyon. Zeta: Though the exact height of the fall is unknown, the Grand Canyon is a mile-long drop on average. And being lit on fire is also pretty bad for one's health. Will: This is where most characters' stories would end, but not Joshua Graham's! Instead of, you know, dying when dropped a mile into a canyon while on fire, he started heading north, back towards his homeland hundreds of miles away. It took three months, and he had to kill assassins sent after him along the way, but he eventually got back to New Canaan. Unfortunately for him, he suffered permanent skin damage from the incident, most notably on his head. But that can be expected when not seeking medical treatment for a few months after being set on fire. For this feat, he gained a legendary moniker: the Burned Man. Zeta: As you might have guessed, Joshua Graham's specialty was not dying. His in-game stats give him the 10 maximum points for Endurance, and more impressively, 50 DT. Will: I have no idea what that means. Zeta: Long story short, New Vegas uses DT, or "Damage Threshold," as an indicator on whether a character's armor or natural defenses can resist an attack. The higher the DT, the more damage is removed from an attack's power, until attacks only deal 20% of the intended damage. Will: So, is 50 DT a lot? Zeta: You know the T-51b Power Armor? The revolutionary Power Armor that that appears in a ton of the game's official artwork? Used by the high-tech Brotherhood of Steel? That set of armor, including the helmet, grants only 31 DT. And Joshua Graham isn't wearing power armor. He's wearing a shirt, jeans, and bandages. Even if the player uses that gear, they only get a fraction of the DT. So it's all natural. Will: Oh. Well, that would explain a lot. During his battles leading the Legion against the NCR, snipers scored seemingly deadly shots against him five times, and these obviously didn't stick. And even when he led his troops into the Boulder City, his worst defeat, he apparently wasn't badly harmed by the C4 being used. Zeta: Joshua Graham didn't remain Legate for thirty years by just being hard to kill either! He is a skilled gunslinger, whose weapon of choice is a modified .45 Auto Pistol he calls "A Light Shining in the Darkness." Will: The gun gets its name from the Gospel of John's fifth verse. Here, the "Light" being referred to is God himself, who is presented as a common light for all of humanity. It is a reflection both of Graham's religious upbringing and how he has come to view his fighting in a spiritual context. Zeta: The more tangible difference between his gun and the standard .45 Auto is that it has a much shorter barrel and a few parts switched out, making it much harder to use effectively. But in return, A Light Shining in the Darkness fire more powerful shots at a greater rate and more accurately than is possible with the standard model. And it is still sturdy enough to use as a melee weapon. Because pistol whipping obviously works! Still, it was enough for him to wipe out the White Legs tribe mostly by himself after returning home. Joshua Graham seems pretty close to unstoppable. Will: Not quite. Despite all of the deadly things he's survived and his impressive shooting skills. Joshua Graham has some major weaknesses. First are his obvious physical difficulties. Graham is well into his 50's, and has seen decades of wear and tear. And though he was able to walk away after all of his impossible feats, he still needs to wear those bandages for his burns. The bandages need to be changed daily to avoid infection, and he has grown immune to the drugs that can reduce pain. Zeta: Plus, if we had to be fair, he is not exactly a brilliant fighter. Though he is intelligent enough outside of battles, his tactics have pretty much always consisted of "run into enemy until they die." Even when fighting the White Legs years after he left the Legion, this is his strategy of choice. And in the heat of battle, he is visibly swept away, quickly losing himself to a desire for enemy bloodshed. Will: Still, this strategy has usually worked in the past, simply since Joshua Graham has the durability to take any damage and the power to defeat any foes in front of him. Zeta: There's no denying that Joshua Graham is one hell of a survivor. I survived because the fire inside burned brighter than the fire around me. I fell down into that dark chasm, but the flame burned on and on. Lanius Zeta: After Joshua Graham lost the Battle of Hoover Dam, Caesar needed a new soldier to lead his forces. And this new Legate would have to be able to live up to the legacy of Joshua Graham. Fortunately, he had a spare legendary warrior lying around. Will: Lanius was born as a member of the Hidebarks tribe in Arizona, which was being attacked by the Legion, which already had over 60 tribes under its control. He was the champion of the tribe, able to defeat legion patrols by himself. Eventually though, the Legion had the Hidebarks surrounded and the tribe's chief decided to surrender. Zeta: Lanius didn't take it very well. He was convinced that his chief and his supporters were traitors, went on a bloody rampage, killing the chief and another 15 men before being subdued. And he did this without any weapons. Will: Caesar apparently saw something in this drama queen, because when Lanius awoke, he was offered a place in the Legion, along with a new shiny mask in the image of the war god Mars. Lanius accepted, but wanted to be able to wipe out his old tribe in an act of vengeance. Caesar only let him kill the adult men though. Naturally, this guy is a natural fit for a position of power. Zeta: Though he lacks the natural invulnerability of Joshua Graham, Lanius is a powerhouse in his own right. He wields the Blade of the East, a giant sword made from a car's bumper. Bumper Swords, as they are commonly known, are not unheard of in the Mohave, but are mostly used by Super Mutants since they are far too heavy for humans to use. Metallic bumpers like the ones seen in Fallout vary in weight, but are rarely less than 20 pounds and could weight more than 50 pounds. For context, the typical swords used in medieval Europe weighed around 3 to 5 pounds. Will: Lanius also wears a suit of armor, complete with a cool mask on his helmet. Unlike other Legion troops, who wear makeshift armor using pre-war spots gear, this armor is specially crafted using steel, and is on par with Combat Armor. It's heavy, but he is more than strong enough to wear it. And it supports his already high HP. Zeta: Along with his main set of sword and armor, Lanius also carries Incendiary Grenades and Legion Healing Powder. Incendiary Grenades create a burst of flame upon detonation, and Legion Healing Powder is a rare item that slightly hinders Perception, but heals a good chunk of Health Points. Will: Lanius is most comfortable with a blade, but as his old tribe can tell you, he is also a master of unarmed combat. As a leader in the Legion, he knows the Legion Assault, a move where he leaps into the air and strikes a foe towards the ground. Zeta: Using this set of weapons and skills, Lanius has made quite the record for himself. He killed 16 of his fellow tribesmen barehanded before being subdued, led the conquest of nineteen tribes, is hardy and fit enough to outrun the Courier with both of his legs crippled, and is apparently the only member of the Legion who can get away with calling Joshua Graham by his actual name. Will: As with Joshua Graham though, Lanius has some notable weaknesses. His tactics are no better than Joshua Graham's, as he views actions like backstabbing to be dishonest. And despite his professed distaste of manipulative speech, he is eager to speak with his opponents, and can be manipulated through these discussions. In his final battle with the Courier, he can be convinced that he is walking into an NCR trap, that others in the Legion are conspiring against him, or to fight the Courier without assistance. Zeta: And don't forget that Lanius ultimately relies on weapons more suited to the 13th century than the 23rd. Of course, Lanius has more than overcome any of his weaknesses to become the Monster of the East. Caesar's will is made truth through me. I am a hammer against all that defy his rule. Intermission Zeta: Our combatants are set, but first, Will has something to say. Will: Sometimes, I'm hanging around the New Vegas area, and find myself short on basic supplies. And I don't care about how cool lasers are, the Van Graffs are scary! That's why I go to Mick & Ralph's for all my shopping needs. Mick sells all sorts useful weapons and ammo, from rifles and shotguns to knives and armor. And Ralph's wide inventory includes food, drinks,and chems, not to mention his various special services! So go to Mick & Ralph's for all your shopping needs. Zeta: How much did they pay you for that? Will: Twenty Caps. Which Legate do you expect to win? Joshua Graham Lanius Fight On the western shore of Lake Mead, north of the remnants of Boulder City, there is a campground from before the Great War. One could call it abandoned, but travelers still use the campfire between the rocks, sleeping with Lake Mead just out of view. One such traveler was currently leaving the site one morning, a pilgrim from the north. He wanted to revisit the scene of his second baptism, and reflect upon the circumstances leading to his new name: the Burned Man. As he started to make the final leg of his journey south, he saw a tall figure in the east, walking with the sun at their back. After their height, the second feature to strike the pilgrim's attention was their shining armor, complete with a mask-like helmet and some ostentatious red crests. Legate Lanius had not expected to find Joshua Graham when he left behind the scouts he was accompanying. But now, seeing an ugly mark on Caesar's legacy before him, he knew that this was an opportunity like no other, to eliminate any traces of decay from the title of Legate. Joshua Graham never planned to meet his successor, but somehow felt more than prepared to meet him. When the Lord your God delivers evil into your hands, put it to the sword. And if it meant a return to his violent ways, didn't the Son come with the sword? FIGHT! Wasteland Justice Joshua Graham wasted no time drawing A Light Shining in Darkness. “Lord, make me thy instrument!” In two seconds, he had fired half a dozen rounds at Lanius. Five of the shots hit their mark, with four hitting the Legate’s torso and the fifth landing on an arm. Lanius hadn’t even finished pulling out his Blade of the East by the time the first shot landed, but began charging at his foe even as Graham emptied his magazine upon him. “You’ll pay for that!” With a speed few humans could match, even unburdened by his ornate armor, he rushed towards Graham, rapidly closing the distance between them. Graham would gladly have continued shooting down Lanius, but needed a few precious moments to reload his pistol. He took a few steps back, but Lanius was already almost upon him. Graham fired another two shots in Lanius’s direction. Fortunately, one of them landed square on his helmet, momentarily stunning Lanius. Graham, realizing that he needed to compensate for the long reach of the Blade of the East, nimbly shifted his pistol to hold it by the barrel before lunging at Lanius butt-end of the gun first. “Take it!” Graham landed a few blows, but as Lanius pulled his wits together, it became clear that pistol whipping had barely any effect on the large man. Graham spent an extra moment to deliver a last hit before withdrawing from Lanius’s blade, only to be surprised by a quick left jab from Lanius. “Fool!” Holding his large blade in place with his right hand, Lanius adjusted his weight on the blade to deliver a cross that knocked Graham back. The power of the blow had mostly been absorbed by Graham’s massive defenses, but it successfully put him out of melee range. Graham tried to pull further back, giving himself distance and reloading his pistol before Lanius could use his sword again, but Lanius was prepared for this as well. He threw one of his Incendiary Grenades a short distance behind Graham, and although his aim was a bit off, it was close enough to envelope Joshua Graham in flames. Retribution! But as he stood in from of Lanius, his bandages burning around his eyes, the Burned Man quietly chuckled. These flames were pitiful compared to those that accompanied his second baptism, let alone those that Lanius would soon come to know intimately. Battle for the City History of his opponent aside, Lanius could have been excused for letting his guard down before he saw Graham, seemingly unbothered by the flames enveloping him, silently aim and fire another full magazine at him. With the advantages of a still target and steady aim, all six shots hit, punching holes into the armor on his legs and torso. Lanius’s left leg fell limp as he stood. As Joshua Graham reloaded, Lanius rolled behind one of the large boulders surrounding the campground. “Yes, hide!” Graham shouted. “Run and hide in fear!” As Lanius quickly swallowed some of his healing powder, he performed a quick self-diagnosis. It seemed that one of the shots to his leg was affecting his ability to move it effectively. Not painful enough for a hit to a major nerve, but it might have torn a ligament. Not preferable, but perfectly manageable. Joshua Graham eyed the boulder hiding his opponent, prepared for another Incendiary Grenade. “Hide while you can,” he mumbled. But as the seconds passed, he decided that this was a good chance to take Lanius by surprise. Graham began running for Lanius’s position just as they began to emerge from their position. Not willing to abort his maneuver, Graham began firing his .45 Auto as he ran towards his opponent. “Die where you stand!” Lanius took a couple of hits, but they were nothing he couldn’t work through, especially as the healing powder gave him a second wind. Maintaining a solid pace despite a half-crippled leg, he soon closed the distance between himself and Graham. “Die, Profligate!” Pulling the Blade of the East to his side, he swung it in a semicircle in front of him, the force of which knocked Graham onto the ground. Graham wasn’t badly hurt by the Mauler attack, but before he could pull himself from the ground, Lanius was already above him, slamming his blade down upon the Burned Man several times. One of these blows smashed Graham’s right arm. For the second time today, he felt his arm burning. As Lanius prepared another strike, Joshua Graham managed to roll himself to the side, left hand firmly holding his pistol as he dodged the blow. As he pulled himself up, Lanius was already turning to face him, Blade in hands. Joshua silently prayed for his victory before the two leapt into action once more. Lanius performed a lunging strike with his blade, only to be narrowly evaded by Graham. Graham opened fire as he move, but with his arm crippled, none of his shots hit anything too important. Lanius turned towards Joshua Graham once more and roared at his predecessor. “You’re mine!” Joshua Graham tried to avoid the next attack, but even with a crippled leg, Lanius was faster on his feet than the Burned Man. He landed a hit straight upon Graham’s torso, causing a couple of ribs to audibly crack. And before Graham could even fall back or onto the ground, the Legate landed another hit on his foe. Like an old stuffed teddy bear, Joshua Graham collapsed, his body limp and broken. The bandages on his head had been torn and burnt, exposing parts of his scarred face. He could feel his bones piercing his organs, and realized that as much as he could fight through pain, he still needed bones and organs to stand. “So, this is where the road ends.” Sparing only a moment to look into the eyes of his fallen adversary, Legate Lanius swung his blade once more, splitting open his target’s head. KO! Lanius looked down at the man deemed worthy of serving Caesar’s Legion for more than a quarter century. “A fair kill.” Conclusion Victor's Music Will: Weird. I went into this fight thinking that Joshua Graham was way tougher than Lanius. Zeta: Honestly, I’d say that under most circumstances, Joshua Graham is the more dangerous of the two. He has more impressive feats, is almost ludicrously resistant to harm, A Light Shining in the Darkness is a powerful weapon, and he among the best possible wielders of said weapon. But Lanius in particular had a few advantages over Graham. The most important being his weapon. Will: That Buster Sword ripoff? Zeta: Exactly. Weapons in Fallout can be judged on both their ability to kill things quickly and their ability to pierce defenses. In general, many firearms can deal a lot of damage to an unprotected target thanks to their high rate of fire, but none of those shots are very likely to do much to a heavily armored foe. On the other hand, you have a few weapons that usually deal less damage, but do a better job at piercing both natural and artificial defenses. These include some explosives, like grenades and mines, and oversized melee weapons, like Lanius’s Blade of the East. Will: True, and I guess Joshua Graham’s style of fighting doesn’t work that well either. This guy isn’t stupid, but his main form of strategy is to run straight at the enemy. Which I can appreciate, but when your weapon of choice is a pistol which constantly needs to be reloaded and your enemy is using a giant sword, this might not be the best strategy. Maybe somebody else could have used hit and run tactics, but they would still have to deal with Lanius’s ridiculous running speed. He can run nearly twice as fast as other NPC’s in this world, meaning you couldn’t run for long. Zeta: And compared to Joshua Graham, Lanius has the advantage of diversity. Even before joining the Legion, he was a master of unarmed combat, meaning that he has alternatives to his slow but powerful blade. And although he isn’t very skilled at using his incendiary grenades, the stockpile of healing powder he carries gives him a bit more room to work with. Will: Speaking of healing powder, this works well with one last advantage Lanius had: Stamina. Joshua Graham can resist hits well, but once they get past his defenses, he actually can’t tank too much damage. Lanius, despite his lackluster armor, can. Lanius has over twice as much HP as Joshua Graham, and by using his healing powder mid-fight, he made this difference even bigger. Zeta: The winner is Legate Lanius. Do you agree that this Legate wins? Yes No Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:'Video Games' themed Death Battles Category:'Series' themed Death Battles Category:Sword VS Gun themed fights Category:'WRPGs' themed Death Battles Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:Salnax Category:'Company' themed Death Battles